Thursday, December 19, 2013
When Being a Bitch is the Right Thing
I've been having a lot of stressful issues at work lately, which I have briefly mentioned here and there. Over the past few weeks, things have been building and building to the point that it has moved far beyond my control and I haven't known how to handle the situation.
One of the hardest things about what is going on is knowing the right thing to do. I've always wanted to do the Right Thing, and often for me, that goes hand in hand with caring more about others than myself, and being as kind as I can. It may seem silly, but being kind and friendly and likable has always been something I've striven for. This is not to mention- I hate confrontation, criticism, or stepping on people's toes. I detest cattiness and bitchiness and being dramatic.
But with the issues happening at work, the right thing has been a little more unclear. I've tried so hard to be reasonable, mature, and accept what was happening with gritted teeth. I've tried avoiding confrontation or involving others. I didn't want to be a bitch or cause more issues or drama. I care a lot about my job, so I've just wanted everything to be over as quickly and easily as possible. I believed the right thing to do was to try my best to remain calm, take a deep breath, and wait for the storm to subside.
As a result, my well-being has taken a vicious hit. I have been consumed with the kind of stress that cause me to feel ill and halts sleep. And it wasn't even effective- the drama has escalated to pathetic levels regardless of the pressure I've put on myself to do what is right. Waiting with baited breath has meant letting people walk all over me. Doing what I believed to be right has caused me to feel constantly guilty, jumpy, anxious, nervous, and pressured. This job isn't worth it, no matter how much I love it.
This week, I finally came to realize and accept: sometimes you just need to be a bitch.
Sometimes being nice isn't the right thing. Sometimes you have to play dirty for things to change. And sometimes standing up for yourself means you have to stop caring about others. You have to make some uncomfortable calls and involve the right people- even if it means someone else will get in trouble, even if it means someone will be mad at you.
If you're standing up for yourself- or if you're standing up for those you love, or what you believe in- if those who care about you are worried about you, or if you've tried everything else you could possibly try, then go ahead and be a bitch.
Being a bitch doesn't always mean you’re bitchy.
Sometimes it just means you are taking care of yourself. Sometimes it means you care too much to let other people walk all over you. Sometimes the Right Thing is taking a stand, and sometimes taking a stand gets a little dramatic.
If I have learned anything from the past few weeks, it’s this: sometimes you gotta tie your hair up, forget what people think, stomp on some toes, and bitch it out.
(Image from WeHeartIt)